Don’t be caught sleeping on a moving bike!
This was a normal yabbing talk to me until i came close to not just a moving bike but a moving car, nwannem on top third mainland bridge oo. The normal talk is don’t text and drive, but can we rephrase to ‘Don’t text and be driven? Weird right but with this experience of mine fam, we need to be alert ooo.
So it’s been a minute on the blog, I went back to come back stronger, know wa I mean? Lol. So I had just landed in Lagos, our own Lagos, the only city in Nigeria that has been ranked 3rd among most stressful cities in the world, yet a lot of us still love this place, what is there not to love about Lagos? The ambiance, the fun, the life here and even the many people with different attitudes and character that add color to the city, this city is synonymous with traffic,so to beat traffic I decided to chill a bit on the mainland before heading to the island, at least working class people would have given us space on the road already especially that third mainland bridge, I cannor come and go and waste my strength in traffic. When it was 9pm, I finally thought it ohk to call a cab so Uber to the rescue as usual.
I made this request and this guy picks up, emphasis on he picks up, he saw it and had a choice to ignore it but he decided to pick the request, he made himself available and he saw my destination was the island. My ride was 6mins away, in less than 6 minutes he was around to pick me up. I was in the company of my friend Seyi and first thing he said when he saw the guy was, ‘can this guy go the island?’ what was my own, I was in a hurry to reach home and sleep, it had been a day indeed, woke up early that morning to prepare for work, pack my bag for my small 3 days trip, made it to work and worked till It was time to leave to the airport, reached the airport and it was a delayed flight as usual with Nigerian airlines, then after what seemed like forever we boarded and finally landed. But because i landed when it seemed like a lot of people will be leaving work from the office, i decided to chill somewhere for traffic before leaving for the island, oh lawd!
I was so in a hurry to tell all my lasgidi friends that I was in town, and even though I had come for some serious stuff we could make out time for chills shhaa or just let them know before they go ‘so you came into town and didn’t say abi’?. I was also trying to reply my never endless watsapp messages and follow up with some important group chat when the driver tried to engage me in a conversation. Is like you don’t like speed aunti ? I looked up, looked at the road ahead, then realized oh we were already on third mainland bridge, yes! I gave a sharp yes and dug back to my phone. Just then, the driver made a sharp move that made me look up immediately, he was dozing, ehhhh sweet Jesus, dozing on third mainland bridge? The devil is a lair ahhhhh mogbe, Excuse me sir you are sleeping, he was quick to reply No! then what are you doing? He replied almost immediately, I am meditating, ahhhhh kuku shift lemme faint, meditating with me in the car on third mainland bridge, noo nooo no way! Uncle you can’t be meditating or whatever you choose to call it with me in the car. If you were tired why did you pick the request? He went ahead to start giving me a gist of one indomie spot on the island he was about going to when a request came for pickup to the mainland he decided to do that last one before closing for the day but luckily for him he just dropped the person when my request came in so it was more like luck for him, luck what oga? Luck for you but what for me? I had to engage him in an endless conversation, this kind by force convo ooo, phone what? All those people can wait oo, if anything happens to me on this third mainland they wouldn’t be with me by the hospital bed or on the other side.
He had to become my gist partner, why was the road free on the other side of the bridge? i guess that was a rhetorical question oo, like was i the traffic regulator? See me see question ooo. He then went on to tell me how there was a grid lock some minutes ago when he dropped off his previous passenger, he gisted me about the incidence from last week on the bridge, how a driver plunged into the lagoon with his oga behind and they both were found dead some days later after a search for their bodies. What could have happened I asked him? Hmmm madam two things oo, it is either he slept off or he did it intentionally, yes ooo. If he slept off, his boss may not have known, of course he was sitting on the back seat and they probably do not talk so silence was not a new thing or he drove in there intentionally. But why would a person in right frame of mind drive into the lagoon knowing that he too will die? Then he gave me a gist of when he was working in an organization before he quit to start Uber, his boss was so mean that everyone couldn’t deny it, they were making so much sales and yet he would pay salaries late, he was rude to any and everyone and said the most nasty things when he was pissed, everyone was clearly irritated and never wanted being around him but we couldn’t help but imagine how the driver was coping with always being with him especially during those traffic moments, that silent moment with him the car and with annoying drivers on the road and sometimes he’s annoying directives of go this way and that way and didn’t you see that guy coming or what sort of stupid driving was that and all manner of words you wouldn’t want to know. So many times when they came back from such rides, the driver in anger will tell us that one day, just one day he will drive the boss into that lagoon on the third mainland bridge, ahhhh Nico you know say you go follow die shaa? Ehen na wetin, ohk so now wey I dey alive wetin be the difference, make we kuku die together make we sabi if oga dey for the other side. Nicholas had told us this over and over again I could tell he was nursing it and this was no longer a joke, well I left them and started my business. When I heard a driver had plunged into the lagoon , first thing that flashed through my mind was Nicholas and Mr. Akinolu, I called a former colleague just to make sure it was not Nico and oga, thankfully it was not.
Hmmm oga, abeg no pass my junction oo, enter that Alpha beach road abeg, we had finally reached my destination. Oga go buy your indomie, chop am go rest o,Hello LagosHello Lagos no need to dey meditate for road oo, but me what do I know, money must be made oo.
Its so good to be in Lagos again. Hello Eko.